In this article, we use the exemplar of domestic violence to examine the construction of self online. To do this, a positional approach to language is combined with a Bakhtinian inspired, phenomenological approach to language. Such an approach is designed to capture both the rhetorical and the intoned quality of language. This approach also draws attention to the role of the assumed community in dialogically interrupting and reflexively structuring the construction of self online. From this conceptual perspective, we examine a variety of posted messages to the public bulletin boards of a number of different online support groups for domestic violence. Three interpenetrating analytic themes emerged from this analysis: (1) The construction of self in relation to online support group members; (2) The construction of self in relation to abuser and (3) The construction of self in relation to past self. These themes are explicated over four key extracts. These extracts are also analysed in terms of the insights they offer into the phenomenological, positional and dialogical dimensions of an utterance directed at a community.